From a dentist's chair

(Ok, it was just a wisdom teeth removal, but I hardly go to doctors so for me, yes, it was a big one)

I intended to think something positive. Some catchy, moving moment, that could carry me away from the chair of the dentist, from that rainy Monday, when such things as ’1 hour later’ or ’we go to the bar this night’ seemed miles and miles away.
Loaded with a dozen of such things I sat down with a bit of a despair in my eyes, the one you see in an animal’s eye when it is surrounded and stucked to the corner.

And then I tried. And tried. But couldn’t recall nothing that would saved me from those moments of massacre. So I asked the question: ’Is it how I live my life? Is it really that poor? Am I just trying to hide this fact with the weekday activities, have and havent's or is that really me?’

3 weeks later a girl told me she had come back from abroad for her boyfriend. She just cut the tape, and left everything behind...

Photo: Thinking by Fares4uae

Blogging Pause

It's hard to think about algebra when all you can think about is food. Says a wallpaper with a dangerously thin African girl on it.
The same thing is true for me, my tooth hurts so much I can not think about anything else right now. I'll have the surgery in 2 weeks though... Hope I will survive somehow and blog again. Stay tuned! :)

Picture from: http://alternativenayk.files.wordpress.com/2008/12/pause.jpg

The Tale of a Tooth

I woke up that night not knowing what would happen in the following hours. There was an unsure pain in the left side of my mouth but I didn't want to bother myself with such a negligible phenomenon.
Later, the bells of 2 o'clock found me in my bed, so awaken that I had never been before. My tooth was aching so much that I was desperatly hitting the ground to deflect my attention. I went out to the closet to check what's going on in my mouth but by the time when I got back, my whole body was shaking and cold sweat covered me. Following a painkiller, the cold sweat turned into hot, then cold again. It went on for a while.

Now, what do you do when you don't know what's happening, you're lost and need help? What does an almost grown up man do when he lost his sense of time, and doesn't know what to do?

He goes and cry to his mommy.

Yes, no matter how old you are, how much money you have, how far you are from your family, when the world collapses they are there for you. And all of us should be glad for them.

And at the end of the day I think there's only one thing: Family. You, as a parent or a child it's the same safe net enusuring not to hit the ground.

Photo: .Hit the floor by Dark-lil-Angel

Pretenders

- You ok?
No I'm not. I feel that I'm ovewhelmed, burned out and pretending that everything's fine for me. My batteries are running low and I can't find the charger. I'm jealous, desperate and alone. I want to cry for help, but too proud to do that. I want to talk, talk, talk, ask questions, and hear the ultimate answer, believe that what I'm doing is the right one, and that it will be rewarded. I want a morning to share.
- I'm fine, you?
- Pretty well, thank you.

Photo: Imposed Captivity 2 by Contrastique

"What's the point then?"

- Aren't you afraid you will gain weight? - asked the girl horrified, next to me as she watched my collegue eating a cake packed with loads of sugar.
- Come on, it's just a cake. I won't deny it just because some stupid magazine told me. What's the point of living then?

It's not what you deny that makes you a better person, but the... Complete the sentence as you wish.

Photo: Fruit on a plate TheRedGirl

The Spirit

Ah, the River Tisza! Impersonated by many of our poets, writers and journalist (who can give you a far more better description than me) it comforably flows through the country. However this river wants the whole world for itself during the spring floods. It's as selfish as a child and as moody (and as beautiful) as a women.
We usually spent 1 or 2 weeks on the "beaches" of it in a tent, no civilization, no electricity, and only the usage of fire reminded me that we were living in the modern ages.
Someone told me that the Spirit of the river comes every morning just after sunrise to bless the banks of it. And every morning, as a young boy, I sneaked out from the tent and searched for it. I pictured the typical portrayal of the Death with black clothes and the classical scythe. Of course I never found it. But looking back from a few years distance I could say that, actually, I found the Spirit of the Tisza.
It's the feeling of unsure, dangerous, ever-changing yet amazingly calm and captivating flow of emotions, feelings and happenings. Some part of your life goes wildly, breaks the rules, and knows no boundaries, some carries the rubbish that other people threw in, the other one is the place for playing, swiming and having those unforgotten summer nights. But it's still ONE river. Use it as a boundary to divide, use it wisely to connect.

Takáts Eszter - Nyári dal (Summer song)






Photo: Sunset At Tisza 1 by semuta

2 candies

2 candies fell out from my laptop bag when I lifted it up. Normally I keep it in the corner and only move it when I prepare for going home.
As I watched them flying and twisting towards the floor, I saw the way you put them to the table, then a minute later, how you started throwing them around the room just for fun and how you were trying to hit the switcher to turn the light off. I saw myself in the freezing cold waiting for you in the bus stop, I saw your/our city during night, the lights of a capital and the temptation of the endless possibilities. There's no need to deny it I missed you in that moment.

I wished they had been mirrors to break into numberless pieces so that the feeling might have gone as well. They might have been so small that I could have just ignore them but no, the 2 candies were definitely there. And they hit the ground.
...
...
Travelling through the city, it's still amazes me. One day I will return and call this city "home". Until then, I eat the candies and enjoy them.

Photo: Chocolate by rawscientist